Isaiah 55:8 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.
Like many women, growing up, I had a list of accomplishments that I wanted to meet by a certain age. These bookmarks were a combination of personal and career oriented goals. I had the idea planted that I would find the love of my life and a job in the photography field right after college. I would marry and spend our first couple of years traveling and focusing on our careers. We’d have at least one kid by the age of 25, and the rest would play out in a happily ever after type of thought. That was the decision I had made for my life. So when at the age of 26 my husband and I found out we were expecting we never considered that months later we’d have a missed miscarriage.
My plans aren’t His plans. I found that in trying to control every aspect of my life could result in quite a few disappointments. I’ve taking most of my unexpected roads in strides with a positive viewpoint. When I was laid off from my pervious job it seemed very unexpected to me but in my heart I knew that wasn’t where God wanted me. So, I said, Okay God, I’ll patiently wait, and I’ll have faith in this season. After a couple of months, I found both favor and work. I believe these types of changes were okay with me because I had made the decision that I was okay with God’s curve balls. But I couldn’t comprehend, control, or reason with the miscarriage. We had received many condolences, and I had heard many shared stories. I heard a lot of, “It just wasn’t God’s plan.” Those words were less comforting than they’ve ever been to me at that moment but within time, I started to wonder the same question.
I never second-guessed God, but I racked my brain as to what His reasoning would be for this to happened to us. I knew the statistics that almost 50% of pregnancies end in miscarriages, I had a constant reminder that it wasn’t my fault and that this event didn’t mean that we couldn’t have kids in the future. I may never full understand why but after months later I didn’t realize something had changed. As heartbreaking as it was, it had strengthened and prepared me, and it bonded my husband and me at a time that could have broken us. I bonded with other women who had similar experiences. A lot of experiences were ones that they never shared with anyone, and some were from women who never fully coped.
Life throws you curve balls. You may actually get hit because you didn’t plan on a plan outside of your own. When this happens, my advice is to allow yourself some time to reflect. Allow others to be there for you. Let whatever the experience is, mold you because it will whether you like it or not. Then move forward. God has something great planned for your future, and nothing will get in your way if you don’t let it. Stay positive and allow Him to be in control.